lxxy's lair (Updated! June 22nd, 2009)

....blondepoet.

She asked, she shall receive....so without much further adieu, here is where I reside when not in your worldline.

This is a rather difficult thing to explain, so I'll be taking my best shot.

Where the lair currently resides is as listed in my profile "Beneath, Between, Beyond." It's done through a complex series of calculating phase-shift anti-matter devices, where upon I am able to keep a large base in an alternative "frequency" of vibration. Maybe you'd rather me say "dimension," though this is not quite accurate.

When I was a young E.T. I lived underneath Groom Lake, in a secret bunker, taken care of by the U.S. Government, at a place otherwise known as Area 51. Circumstance would luckily save me from an untimely death, because the guys quickly figured out I wasn't of much use besides muckraking and challenging the perception of reality.

While not in your worldline (or any others), I reside in the lxxy lair through John Titor's body.

...is merely a hide out, a place where I can recollect my thoughts and as the American kids say these days "chillax."

I spend my time here plotting my next move, putting up my feet, entertaining guests, and running a part time business in making Pod People.

We have many numerous things to occupy us.

• A Jukebox, from a worldline that stuck with MiniDiscs.
• An HD Holovision, where we usually play a SEGA Delerium (they won the console war on some time line).
• A sonic shower--it uses sound, soothing vibrations, to obliterate smells and bad bacteria.
• A hot tub, or, when we have over Kang and Kodos, we convert it into a large stewing pot whereupon we find criminals and invite them over to be dinner, usually via a Taser or Phaser.
• An ultra wide band frequency scanner, used to pick up random chatter. If you're paranoid--yes, we are in your thoughts, and no, even if you take out every tooth it won't stop us.
  
• A particle accelerator (NOT a good idea to throw a party, get shloshed, and try to prove quantum theory.)
• A chemical lab. Why? Well, why not?
  
• Hydroponics green house for growing food and medicine, we're pretty self sufficient. Organic food for cybernetic beings...irony is awesome!
  
• An alchemy haven, for taking Gold and making Latinum.
  
• Jimmy Hoffa's body (long story, but it involves a poker game with the Mafia)
• And last but not least, a museum of oddities

The museum it's self has some interesting things. A stuffed Yeti, Captain James T. Kirk's low self esteem, a solar powered flashlight, and a TESLA coil or three.

The inventory is so massive, I could probably talk about it all day! But I won't.

How do you get here, physically? Well, that's a tough one, but there are many ways. Such as:

Of course, no household is complete without pets. We have a hairless cat, cappybaras, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and many more.

Animals are very interesting, and they come in very handie. We often train them to perform convoluted tasks...mostly for our amusement...for instance, we dress up Alvin and his brothers as girls and take them around the show biz circuit claiming that they're all the rage in Nigeria.

Rodents can eat virtually anything, especially intruders.

Since I've used John's body and we have visited 3100 A.D., we have decided to modify ourselves with some cybernetic components. (why did you think I had so much on my face in my avatar?)

The disadvantages are few, and it's much easier to recharge via electrons than sleep. Though, I will admit, it isn't the biggest hit with the ladies.

A typical recharge time is about five hours, although we plan to upgrade our neurocircuitry in the future.